SkaDate: How Online Dating Could Have Saved Us from Twilight

by Zima

Twilight? Mother of god…

If The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 has taught this SkaDate Dating Software blogger anything, it’s that high school girls should never get into three-way relationships with Hufflepuff studs and Sharkboys on steroids.

OK, I don’t really know if that’s the case, because I haven’t actually seen any of Twilight movies (though I was forced to read up a lot on the subject). What I do know for a fact is that the world wouldn’t have to suffer through the endless tales of dysfunctional relationships, had Bella, Edward and Jacob took their misery to the web. Oh, what could have been if only they met on a dating site first.

But we do know what would have happened. According to a research done by the Northwest and Texas A&M Universities,  people are quite flexible about their ideals when meeting in real life. We tend to adjust our expectations and traits preferences when meeting someone face to face. The whole, as it is, is greater than the sum of its parts.

At the same time, online dating works in the opposite way. While trying to look for a perfect match, people create an ideal partner in their heads based on personality descriptions on hand. Different parts play a significantly more important role here.

So, just think about it for a second. A moody girl like Bella getting exited about a guy with a profile of a 100 year old stalker/ killer with a smell fetish? Yeah, right. Forget about all that sparkling and sweet talking or whatever stuff that Stephenie Meyer’s vampires do.

For that matter Jacob Black is not much better either. He is underage for a half of the series, and for another half he is basically a furry bodybuilder. Nice. And yes, I hear the banging on the door and see pitchforks in my window. That’s OK, I was trained for a Zombie apocalypse, so I might stand a chance here.

And poor Bella… She is clearly a weak, helpless and unstable emotionally immature girl with suicidal tendencies, who loves to be stalked and can’t make up her mind when it comes to romancing weirdos. Don’t you see, she is perfect for Justin Bieber! But I digress.

The point is – in the realm of online dating these people would have never meet, which would be best for everyone involved, including the audience, but excluding Stephenie Meyer and Summit executives.

There is a reason why people turn more and more to finding partners on the web. Unlike real life, Internet gives enormous flexibility in the game. It’s less expensive, has a bigger pool of candidates, and you can actually get to know a great deal about a potential match before getting into a more serious relationship.

The success of sites running on SkaDate dating script proves that the safe and comfortable online experience is what most people want these days, and are actually ready to pay for. Not being stuck with a limited option of choosing between a closeted homosexual and, well, a Taylor Lautner.

In all likelihood, Edward, Bella, and Jacob could have found far better and more appropriate matches on a multitude of niche sites. You hear dating site owners? It’s in your power to prevent this Twilight debacle from happening ever again! True, if that happened, we’d miss out on thousands of pages of awkwardly written plotless exposition, but then again, that time could be better spent on even more Zombie apocalypse training anyway.