Now that everyone knows that what happens in Vegas does not in fact stays in Vegas, we can finally concentrate on more important matters. Yes, we are simple folks here at SkaDate Dating Software, and as such we love following the royal family’s (mis)adventures.
At the same time we just can’t stay impartial to the apparent troubles of the rebellious Redhead Prince. We believe that through his public scandals Harry is trying to open up to the world, seeking help in defining himself, and looking for that someone special, who wouldn’t mind all the shenanigans the tabloids crave so much.
Well, Harry, SkaDate is here for you. We went through the past controversies and came up with five suitable online dating sites (one of which even runs on our own SkaDate dating script) to find you the alternative escapes from reality, while staying out of sight of the paparazzi. Let’s just hope grandma will not find out about this…
Problem: Drug Use Fail
Back in 2002 Harry (16 at the time) was just getting started. But being a mischievous prince that he is, the boy chose Hollywood way of doing it; that is he proceeded to consume large quantities of booze and got high in front of others. Needless to say, dad wasn’t happy and send the kid to a rehab (and then probably asked J.K. Rowling to write a book about Harry Potter just to drive away the attention of the press).
Solution: 420.com (SkaDate-powered Online Dating Site for Cannabis Enthusiasts)
Problem: Paparazzi Rage Fail
Looking at recent pictures it is obvious that Harry is in great shape. In fact, the prince frequently challenges athletes like Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt or US swimmer Ryan Lochte for a laugh. We assume he does this… just because he can. Anyway, the prince wasn’t always lightning quick, as can be attested by a couple of paparazzi, both of whom were chased by Harry and escaped (although one suffered a cut lip in the process, and the second a laughing feat after witnessing the prince tumbling behind him).
Solution: RunningSingles.com (Website Bringing Runners and Athletes Together)
Problem: History Lesson Fail
Harry seems to be persistently stubborn when it comes to such incredibly complicated matters as being publicly sensitive about racism or fascism. It’s not like his family… no, wait it is. So it’s probably best to refrain from stuff like wearing Nazi uniforms or allowing racial slurs altogether if you are a prince, or, you know, human being. But I guess we can’t really ask a kid who actually failed Art Class by cheating, to be proficient in something as tough as history.
Problem: Animal Care Fail
This one I am not sure. Have you ever seen a horse? I’ve seen several and none of them looked like the type of animal to like royalties much. I’m no expert, but I sense the feeling is mutual, so there’s no surprise Harry let his spur-stab-wounded horse continue in a game of Polo in 2010. At least he wasn’t drunk at the time or wearing Pickelhaube. Still, the entire incident would have gone better with the animal groups, had Harry been a part of a certain online community.
Solution: HorseLoversConnection.com (Most Active Place on the Internet, where Serious Single Cowboys, Cowgirls, and Horse People Connect – I kid you not, that’s a direct quote from the website).
Problem: Covering Royal A** Fail
Oh, who am I kidding. Harry acts like a typical 27-year old bloke with someone else’s money to spend. In the very least this proves that the royal family is not entirely made of cyborgs, some of them are in fact capable of human emotions and mistakes, and at least one of them has an actual (albeit royally pale) butt.
Solution: Opening a Brand New Online Dating Site Endorsed by the Buckingham Palace.